Psst, Doctor Has A Few Spare Vaccines If Anyone Is Interested


AS THE furore builds over the use of excess vaccines in hospitals before they expire, which is something you can’t in any way blame the HSE, Department of Health of the Minister for Health for, rumbles on hanging around the back of the Rotunda and the Coombe may be your best chance of securing the jab.

With this in mind WWN hovered around the back doors of hospitals this morning in search of just that and found one doctor desperate to administer vaccines before their expiry date was reached.

Emerging from the shadows Dr David Molburn, who asked to remain anonymous, approached us with an irresistible proposition:

“Say nothing now, but c’mere, I’ve a few Jabba the Huts, if you know what I mean, some Vax and the City,” Dr Molburn said in his opening pitch, his body language suggesting he was hiding something beneath his coat.

“Me? No I haven’t vaccine anything suspicious, a few doses hanging around though if you get me,” the doctor added, unable to deviate for speaking in innuendo when we straight up asked him to jab us in the fucking arm.

“I’ve got that arm candy if you get me, I’m Jeremy Needles. I’ve more needles that Lance Armstrong’s arse. I’m like a diabetic’s handbag. It’s only going to waste otherwise, ‘less sweats more success’ with this one. I can only hand these out to repeat customers though, you understand? Meet you back here in 21-28 days”

“Right, if you want a bit of Vax The Way Uh Huh I Like It stall it round the back of the A&E in 10 minutes,” added Dr Molburn, who learned everything about dodgy clandestine dealings down alleyways from Hollywood movies.

For those unable to stalk hospital grounds in search of someone offering Covid-19 vaccines that would otherwise go to waste, experts advise that until the Department of Health sort out the kinks in the programme just be related to a TD or something.