Couple Without A Job Since March Delighted To Hear House Prices Are Rising Again


“THAT’S nice, isn’t it?” shared couple John and Emma Pearce, a wave of relief washing over them as they learned of the news that house price inflation in Ireland rose by roughly 6% over the last 12 months according to a report from

Both working in industries that effectively do not exist when there’s an ongoing global pandemic the Pearces belong to that foolish group of people who weren’t smart enough to choose pandemic proof careers and already own a house before 2020 hit, but are surprisingly completely devoid of resentment toward an economy and society that seems indifferent to them.

“Now that’s lovely. Delighted for houses. That’s great news. Could you imagine if prices fell? What then? Rent falling, sure you’d might as well just end Ireland right then and there, switch off the lights. Sounds desperate altogether,” added Emma, no longer sounding happy at the house price news.

For a time the prospect of a drop in property prices was rated as such a catastrophic occurrence the Irish government would consider closing schools if it helped to stop the spread of reduced asking prices.

“We were worried there for a second our landlord who got a mortgage break last year wouldn’t know what to do with the full rent we were paying him. I’ll sleep soundly now tonight after that news,” offered John, considering if he could get a job as a house.

In better news, noting how Irish houses seem immune to the effects of the pandemic the European Medicines Agency is to attempt to place them in a vial and administer the Irish housing market directly into Irish peoples veins as a Covid-19 vaccines.