Pissing Contest Between Fine Gael & Sinn Féin Best Ireland Can Do

A DESPONDENT group of Irish politics watchers have come to the regrettable conclusion that a pissing contest between Fine Gael and Sinn Féin is best Ireland can do.

Ireland’s lurch further toward a predictable weekly onslaught of ‘I know you are, but what I am-isms’ from the two rival parties brings with it significant risk for the public of being soaked in back splash arising from the pissing contest.

“I know this level of insult filled debate, fueled by petty empty rhetoric in an insult to every citizen but fuck, it’s like a drug I can’t get enough of, and here I was slagging the yanks for the same shite years ago,” added one Irish politics aficionado, who suffers from Other Party Blindness, a condition which makes it nearly impossible for other parties to register on his radar.

In order to try to better understand and interrogate the political news of the day, the public must carefully wade through rivers of urine, careful not to drown in the neverending contest for brief occupation of the moral high ground.

“You can tell me that the proposed revenge porn law was introduced by Labour, or that the Social Democrats are pushing for equal opportunity for women in politics, but if it’s not someone being called a Tory boy fascist or a Ra-head it won’t catch my attention,” added the man, who was reared on years of social media feeds which thrive on pitting people against each other.

“Look it, I don’t like the idea of us making the same mistakes as the UK and US; making it about two diametrically opposed ideologies but damn it if it doesn’t appeal to the shouty angry part of my brain,” added another person, flat out ignoring polite waves from all non Sinn Féin and Fine Gael politicians and civil society organisations.