“Jesus, Has It Been A Year Already?” Marvels Chinese Man Who Ate Bat Soup

LOOKING back on a whirlwind 12 months, Hao Xi, the man credited with ordering bat soup at Wuhan wet market was in a reflective mood.

“Ah it can’t be, over 12 months? You’re joking” offered Hao Xi, “really? Where does the time go at all. You mean 12 months ago, in this wet market? I ordered? Honestly, it doesn’t feel like a year at all, does it?”

“So you’re telling me in two month’s time it’ll be the year anniversary of some Western leaders saying ‘yeah, thanks for the warning about some virus, but that sounds like a China problem to us'”, added Xi.

Reflecting on his significant part in the story of Covid-19 we asked Xi if he was prone to experiencing feelings of guilt at any point during the last 12 months or so.

“I’ve felt no more guilty than someone who ate some beans, farted and exposed some people to the smell,” offered Xi, “how was I to know? When a restaurant has an outbreak of food poisoning you shut down the restaurant, not the customers, y’know what I’m saying?”

“If anything I feel I get too much of the credit, the bat in the soup did the heavy lifting. And it wasn’t even nice bat soup if I’m being honest, the prick who runs the stall didn’t even give me a refund even though it sent me to hospital”.

Commemorative events marking recent Covid anniversary milestones are taking place around the world with countries staging reenactments of the dismissive and disinterested shrugging of the shoulders they did when the first heard the news of something happening in Wuhan.