Lucky Nation Going To Get Enjoy Wild Freedom Of Level 3 Restrictions Soon


WITH government heavily hinting ‘don’t mind that pandemic or that NPHET lot, full speed ahead to Level 3: Christmas Edition’, the Irish people are beside themselves with excitement at the prospect of enjoying unheralded freedoms not heard of since the days of the free loving 1960s.

Addressing the prospect of Level 3 life becoming a reality next week, experts have urged caution stating the stimulation overload that comes with being able to travel more than 5km from your home could overwhelm the body and risk explosion from an avalanche of sensory delights.

“We’re so used to being cooped up on our best behaviour that sitting in a cafe or a friend’s house is going to hit us like we were on some acid trip orgy in the middle of the desert,” explained lockdown expert Paula Proudfoot.

“You’ve got to understand being allowed into a stop to have a gawk at some clothes? Well that’s going to make you feel as free as a college student rejecting all labels as they join a commune in Paris and experiment with their sexuality,” added Proudfoot.

The more cautious among the public have said they will adopt of ‘drip fed’ approach to reacclimatising to the unencumbered freedoms that comes with the possibility of being able to get in a car and drive to another county.

“Baby steps, I’ll drive down the bottom of the road on the 1st and by Christmas day I should build up enough confidence to wave to the neighbours,” shared member of the public who can’t wait to live a wild life of Level 3 excess.