Officials To Move Trump To Fake White House Where They’ll Pretend He’s Still President
WITH the paint still drying on the sound stage of the carefully constructed mock up of the West Wing of the White House, administration officials are all set to move outgoing president Donald Trump into a fake White House where it hopes it can maintain the illusion of him winning the election can be kept up for the next 4 years.
“It’s a damn sight easier than trying to explain to him again how democratic elections work,” shared one senior WH aide, surrounded by a construction site populated by over 2,000 construction workers that have been working 24/7 to get the replica built.
What appears at first to be a mammoth task and an unachievable trick is, according to insiders, made much easier by Trump’s predictable daily routine.
“All he does is watch Fox News and play golf, so it’s not like he’ll notice a difference,” shared a source before adding that as is the case in the real Oval Office, the big red nuclear strike button will remain disconnected in the Little White Lies House, instead playing footage of explosions from Hollywood movies on a loop when pressed.
A range of problems that could disrupt Trump’s successful ongoing divorce from reality have been accounted for by staff.
“It’s not like he’ll start to ask why Melania isn’t around and not sleeping in his bed, is it? And of course for this to work properly we’ll have to convince his supporters that he’s still president too, but you’ve met them so you know how easy that will be,” explained one source.
Describing the moment of transporting Trump to the fake house as like a heist sequence straight out of Oceans 11, staff will distract Trump using a picture of his daughter before then sedating him with an injection of pure Diet Coke before he then wakes up in the faked White House where a cast of thousands of extras will be sent into the Oval Office to be fired by him for not carrying out a coup, bombing Iran, giving a hush payment to a pornstar or doing something blatantly corrupt.