New Zealand Just Showing Off Now


HAVING declared that her country has once more ‘beaten the virus’ New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern has been asked to ‘read the room’ as virtually every other nation in the world is still struggling with active spread of the virus and doesn’t appreciate such brazen examples of competent political leadership.

“Beating it once, sure, great well done. But beating it a second time, that’s just showing off. What, do you think you’re better than us?” queried citizens of non-New Zealand nations, questioning if New Zealand really needed to look so smug when snuffing out a virus that carries the threat of death with it everywhere it goes.

While the US contended with an infected leader leaving hospital while experiencing symptoms to give the public a wave and their share of the virus, and the UK discovered 16,000 extra cases of Covid-19 in a filing cabinet in a basement, New Zealand was asked if it could refrain from rubbing it in so thoroughly.

“No new cases in 12 days in Auckland, and that’s after going 102 days without any once before…them lot make me sick,” confirmed one onlookers, who if he was in New Zealand wouldn’t likely be sick at all.

“I’m actually not going to rewatch Lord of The Rings this Xmas, that’s how annoyed I am,” added another person, who couldn’t quite put his finger how why a female leader receiving international praise rankles him so much.

Elsewhere, news that New Zealand is once again ‘Covid-19 free’ is estimated to be worth €12 million to be the ‘if only we had more female leaders’ newspaper opinion columns based economy.