Here Comes Mr Rule Man With Another ‘Let’s Not Kill The Elderly’ Buzz Kill Briefing

ACCORDING to those sick to death of being told they could personally help reduce the chance of someone becoming sick with Covid-19 to the point of death, ‘here comes Mr Rule Man with another buzz kill briefing’.

With the previous week bringing a total in excess of 2,000 Covid-19 cases in Ireland, CMO Dr Ronan Glynn has repeatedly reminded people to observe best practice hygiene, maintain social distance, reduce their social contacts, while also warning against engaging in ‘blame games’, something which a small percentage of people have labeled as ‘absolutely wreck the head stuff’.

“God, here he goes again,” suggested one local man, Fergus Nelligan, as Dr Glynn appeared before the Dáil warning of the dangers Covid-19 poses to both young and old.

“Bleedin’ sick of this now, unelected too they are” added the man, browned off at being asked not to do the things he has, from the get go, gone out of his way to do for reason’s beyond this publication’s comprehension.

Given the unenviable task of trying to get through to the likes of Nelligan, CMO Glynn long ago turned a worrying and permanent shade of blue in the face.

“I just pick out all the things we’re being asked to do, and then I don’t do them, so deep down I’m winning,” said Nelligan, an unhelpful, selfish oddball who will no doubt have many opinions about who is at fault for crippling the health service when the inevitable occurs.

“This buzz kill would love it if he got us into a second lockdown,” confirmed Nelligan, who was ironically doing more to contribute to that possibility than 99.9% of the country.

Nelligan, diagnosed with a chronic case of depleting brain cells and you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-doism, is to spend the rest of his day thinking of all the things he can do that will involve needless close contact in poorly ventilated rooms before critiquing the next round of pleading for the most basic commonsense by health officials.