“Ah Sure It’s Only Direct Provision” Shrugs Nation

“Ah sure, it’s only Direct Provision” the Irish public selfishly confirmed as it learned that Covid-19 cases in Direct Provision centres in Kerry and Westmeath are on the rise while over 1,700 residents are forced to share small bedrooms with strangers, in direct contradiction of the Chief Medical Officer’s recommendations.

“Phew, we were hedging our bets on the Irish people saying ‘fuck sake, you can’t expect us to somehow also care about vulnerable asylum seekers at a time like this’ and boy were we right,” confirmed a beaming government spokesperson, who’ll be sad when they’re actually held to account for failures again and not given a free pass thanks to the pandemic.

Mirroring the government’s own ‘five phases’ timeline for reopening Irish society and economy, the Irish people have unveiled their own timeline which allows them to care about Direct Provision residents’ health and safety once it is convenient again, which some speculate will happen somewhere in between hairdressers being reopened or never.

Despite this, the unmistakably familiar guilt the Nation always gets when it tries to ignore institutions openly treating people inhumanely and trampling on their rights, has sparked angry Irish people into demanding action.

“Look I’m sorry, I know I emptily tweeted about ‘end Direct Provision’ and shit like that, but c’mon, that was before all this pandemic stuff. You can’t expect me to care about people packed into crowded rooms where the virus is spreading when I’m trying to avoid it myself, but yeah someone who definitely isn’t me should kick up a fuss,” confirmed one Irish person.

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