Debunked: No, Tom Hardy’s Penis Is Not A Covid-19 Vaccine
WWN FACTCHECK is committed to debunking Coronavirus misinformation. In our previous edition we confirmed Donald Trump’s advice to consume or inject bleach would result in injury or death. Today we address a widely circulated WhatsApp rumour that Tom Hardy’s penis is the game-changing Covid-19 vaccine solution we’ve all been searching for.
The claim initially appeared alongside images of Tom Hardy with the text ‘hmmm, pump 9 inches of that hypodermic flesh needle cure in me’. It is believed the images were made to resemble official health information images previously circulated by the HSE, NHS, CDC and the WHO, and resulted in some people falling for the claims.
As a result of the rumour thousands of people began queuing up outside actor Tom Hardy’s London home, and offering every inch of their bodies up for a non-existent clinical trial involving the Vemon star’s penis, prompting the WHO to feel the need to speak out and confirm that the actor’s penis is not vaccine.
“Even though yes, yum – momma like,” confirmed Dr. Emily Stradbrook, the WHO’s vaccine spokesperson, “there is no conclusive proof that Mr. Hardy’s penis is the vaccine, although the WHO would like to place on record that a night with Mr. Hardy would certainly be good for the soul,” added Stradbrook, staring off into the distance and biting her lip.
Dr. Stradbrook was then asked to bring her media briefing to a close, but chose instead to produce charts detailing which erogenous zones on her body Tom Hardy could target, that would almost certainly lead to an orgasm of a lifetime.
WWN FACTCHECK spoke to leading immunologists and the consensus on the efficacy of using Hardy’s hard on as a baton against Covid-19 is unanimous.
“Will you get lost in his eyes? Yes. Could you melt in his big ol’ arms as he takes you to pound town? Of course. Will you convulse endlessly, lost in pleasure as he delivers soft commanding whispers into your ears, detailing all the things he’s going to do to you? It’s inevitable. But is his dick a Covid-19 cure? Sadly not,” confirmed Dr. Amadou Diop.