CONSUMER CONFIDENCE in Irish Democracy has plummeted as news of the mooted merger between industry leading Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael spreads.
Off the back of recent job losses and a significant reduction in their market share, the two former-blue chip entities are rumoured to be spending much of the day discussing a merger, however, Irish voter markets have reacted negatively.
“These loyal customers have complained for years about the reduction in the quality of goods and services provided by Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, and they’re such a rip off some consumers have turned to cheap knock offs,” explained one consumer expert.
Market experts have also voiced their concern for the value of the parties going forward.
“Instead of carrying out a root and branch assessment of their failings and how to restore confidence in their brands, it seems they’re spending all their time and resources on explaining how rival products are secretly produced in Venezuela and could explode at any minute,” explained a market expert.
Previously a Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael merger was unthinkable as regulations prevent the creation of a monopoly which would control 100% of the market, however, as voting acquisitions have fallen dramatically in recent years a merger seems inevitable.
“One upside is there would be no need for an expensive rebrand or name change, as consumers regular mistake the two brands for one in the same”.
Elsewhere, concern was also expressed for Sinn Féin as they risk overextending themselves and falsifying their accounts so that it appears to investors that their 24.5% market share is actually 100% total market domination.