“Ah Jaysus. What. Are. We. Like?” Confirms Tusla After Latest Monumental Fuck Up


“HONESTLY, WHAT are we like” shared senior Tusla management as they doubled over with laughter and slapped their foreheads in an exaggerated fashion after learning of the latest fuck up involving vulnerable children and families.

Tusla, primarily a data breaching agency that sometimes looks after the welfare of children and families requiring the help and support of the state, has hit headlines again this time after accidentally disclosing the contact and location information of a mother and child victim to their alleged abuser.

“If there was an Eejit Olympics, I’m sorry now lads, but we’d win the gold,” cajoled a senior Tusla official to staff, tickled pink at the latest in a long line of incidents that have arisen after the last batch of staggering ineptitudes.

One of just 75 data breaches from a period stretching between 2018 and 2019, Tusla admitted their fault in accidentally disclosing the contact and location data of a mother and child victim to an alleged abuser, and honestly, admit they’d lose their head if it wasn’t screwed on.

“Shit, have you told them about the child’s head we lost?” a panicked Tusla worker interrupted. “Oh wait, sorry, we haven’t done that but lol, it does sound so us, doesn’t it?”

Fresh from being found guilty of “considerable failings and stupidities” in their handling of false allegations against Garda whistleblower Maurice McCabe, Tusla remains committed to appearing in the news for only ‘bad stuff’.

“Ah look it, you have to laugh don’t ya? Sure it’s only a bit of craic, not like this is important. Anyways, chat to ye lot next time we do something similarly terrible,” concluded Tusla management, shaking their heads and chuckling before returning to CC’ing the entire country into all of its emails regarding highly sensitive case files.