Fine Gael & Fianna Fáil: The Differences

AS THE SHADOW of an another election emerges upon the horizon like a glorious sun-shaped pile of excrement, stinking everything up and covering it in darkness, many astute political commentators have observed that to the average voter there appears to be next to no difference between the country largest parties; bitter rivals Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil.

Ahead of Taoiseach Leo Varadkar meeting his Fianna Fáil counterpart Micheál Martin this evening, you may be looking to refine your understanding of the differences between both parties.

Look no further as WWN outlines the present differences between parties that used to be diametrically opposed to one another, differences drawn over old Irish Civil War lines:

Fianna Fáil as part of the so-called ‘Confidence and Supply’ arrangement have supported the government getting Fine Gael’s policies and ideas through the Dáil, a sure sign if ever there was one that they have fundamental ideological differences.

Even the most basic research reveals these are two vastly different parties, the ultimate chalk and cheese combo. For example, Fine Gael’s offices are at 51 Mount Street Upper, Dublin 2, while Fianna Fáil are at 65-66 Mount Street Lower, Dublin 2. And to think voters lump the two parties in together like they were key ingredients in some bland salad precision designed to make poor people sick.

Main ideological differences, Fianna Fáil: while not in government FF believe increased investment in housing and health is needed to solve myriad crises and problems, this will change in the event of them being elected.

Main ideological differences, Fine Gael: while in government FG believe increased investment in housing and health isn’t needed to solve myriad crises and problems, this will change in the event of them being relegated to the opposition benches.

The differences pile up: Fine Gael blame Fianna Fáil for everything while Fianna Fáil blame Fine Gael. Occasionally, in the event of a rare lunar eclipse, the parties both blame Sinn Féin.

Fine Gael want to reanimate the corpses of former Black and Tans members and arm them in the fight against the homeless while Fianna Fáil refuse to seek treatment for a troubling condition which has left them with no recollection of Ireland in the years between 1997 and 2011.

Both parties will fight day in, day out, for the ordinary Joe also known as ‘making sure multinationals pay no tax’.

What have the leaders to say for each other?

Leo: “We couldn’t be more…”

Micheál: “Similar”

Leo: “You mean ‘different'”

Micheál: “Shit, yeah. See we don’t even finish each other’s sentences”.

Plenty to mull over, but if you were on the fence it should be crystal clear the two parties are world’s apart.