John Delaney Is All Right & That’s All That Matters


IN THE AFTERMATH of the dire state of the FAI’s financial ruin coming to light, the public has been beside itself with worry for the genial and generous father of Irish football, John Delaney.

“We can cry about 200 FAI employees potentially losing jobs, the League of Ireland going under, all Irish teams being banned from competing in international tournaments, the Aviva not hosting EURO 2020 games but what’s the point in fretting about all that when we need to know John Delaney is going to be a-okay,” explained a proper football fan.

“I scanned all the articles about Limerick going under, FAI job losses, the Oireachtas Committee meetings but thank God none of this business affects his €460,000 pay off granted to him by his buddies on the FAI board,” the relieved fan added.

The lack of leadership and oversight at the FAI and among its ‘stakeholders’ became even more apparent yesterday when during an Oireachtas Committee meeting Minister for Sport Shane Ross admitted he didn’t know what a League of Ireland was but valiantly stated he would not stop working until he did.

“That player from Clare who banned for 6 months for daring to question his local officials on their support of John Delaney… I hope he’s been made apologise to poor John,” added an irate fan, who was relieved to ultimately discover John Delaney is all right and isn’t that all that matters.

“Whatever reforms are in line for the FAI if it or Irish football exists at all next year, I hope they land on a way to further punish your average footballer expressing dismay at disgraceful gombeen behaviour”.