New Service Pretends To Be You For Xmas So You Don’t Have To See Your Family

A COMPANY new to the Irish market is offering a service, which involves sending a doppleganger home in your place for the Christmas to endure your complex family dynamics for you, has been forced to hire 100 more staff to cope with increased interest from the public.

“We’re out the door at the minute,” shared CEO of Not This Christmas, Stella Vardman, the company that gets trained actors to take the place of someone who has a brother they don’t get on with or a dose of an aunt at all and any family related catch ups, meals and social commitments over the Christmas and New Year period thus relieving their client of massive anxiety and related stresses.

“This is my third year using the service, they’ve been the greatest Christmasses on record. I just stay in my flat by myself – it’s bliss,” shared local woman Jessica Carton, her face bearing none of the tell tale signs of someone who is dreading questions about how the job is going, when they’re going to settle down along with hundreds of other questions.

Not This Christmas is not a cheap service but all current and former customers speak highly of being afforded the luxury of not having the joy squeezed out of them by having to revisit longstanding familial disagreements and petty arguments.

“We start prepping to ‘become’ the clients in early November. Learn their family members’ names and just who really gets on their nerves; that way we don’t arouse any suspicion and we can get really short, irritable and mean with certain people just like the client would if they were actually at home,” says Not This Christmas employee and former actor Chris Yardley.

Prices for the Not This Christmas service starts at €5,000 and is worth every penny.