Local Man Thought ‘Cats’ Movie Was A Piss Take


A STUNNED Waterford man is still trying to come to terms with the genuine existence of the movie version of Broadway musical ‘Cats’ after seeing the film listed in the foyer of his local cinema.

“Jess, I thought that trailer you showed me was a piss take,” Graham Lane said turning to his girlfriend as they stared in disbelief at a poster for the movie with a rumoured budget of €200 million, most of which presumably went on making the CGI cats look as unnerving as possible.

“It cost how fucking much?” added Graham needing a moment to gather himself at the thought of coked-up Hollywood executives giving the green light to a movie described by some as ‘the wet dream of a demented pervert who has the horn for cats’.

Starring Taylor Swift, Judi Dench and Idris Elba as human-like life-sized cats, the film has bewildered movie goers but intrigued weirdos who lurk in the corners of the internet’s most dodgy special interest pornography sites.

“Are you sure it’s not some weird parody video of how Hollywood makes some utterly stupid and oddly horrifying movies sometimes?” added Graham as he somehow found himself buying two tickets to see the movie against his better judgement.

“Sure, it looks like there’s a dozen better movies out right now, but honestly, I need to see this for myself to see if it’s real, and if it is, I better start saving for therapy now”.

‘Cats’ is out now and anyone thinking it genuinely looks like a good movie will be added to a list for the safety of the rest of society.