Buckingham Palace Closed Due To Floods Of Sweat


THE ROYAL residence has been damaged in a flash flood caused by the sudden and violent expulsion of unprecedented volumes of sweat which burst forth from the pores of Prince Andrew after he learned of an upcoming exclusive BBC interview with his accuser Virginia Giuffre.

“Oh, goodness, I’m cured, what a relief” shared the prince, delighted his well documented condition which leaves him unable to sweat has now been cured. However, medical professionals have been working around the clock to plug a hole in Andrew’s sweat glands as he is currently omits sweat at a rate of 117 litres a second.

People can begin sweating profusely for a number of reason and Andrew’s persistent perspiration may have nothing to do with Giuffre speaking to BBC’s Panorama programme about her claims she was trafficked by deceased sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and forced to have sex with the prince.

Senior sources with knowledge of the royal family have said there has been considerable anger at the ‘needless flood’ as all Andrew had to do in order to stop his sweating was remember he is a member of the royal family and therefore will suffer absolutely no consequences for allegations leveled at him.

Thankfully, everyone was evacuated safely from the flooded palace with the Queen rescued by staff after she was witnessed cobbling together a makeshift raft made entirely out of corgis.

With the royal kitchen still underwater the family were left with no other choice but to dine out in their local Pizza Express for dinner.