UFC Fighter Gives Unconscious Opponent Few More Punches To Be Sure

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HOMEGROWN UFC hero Tommy ‘The Windmill’ Willson stunned the world of MMA over the weekend with an incredible first-round knockout against Hugo Hernandez with a precision-perfect knee to the temple, followed by a few more digs to Hernandez’s skull just to make absolutely certain he wasn’t getting up again.

Dublin native Willson thanked his trainers at ringside for properly motivating him ahead of his first fight with the world-renowned MMA company, and also thanked God for blessing him with the skills to rain blows down on a clearly unconscious man until dragged away by the referee.

Meanwhile, critics of the sport who took offence at the shocking amount of thumps Willson felt were necessary to distribute to a man he’d just knocked out were quickly silenced by UFC fans, who came out in their thousands to confirm that everyone who thinks hitting an unconscious man another few times is a bad thing ‘doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about’.

“Willson did what he trained to do; knock out Hernandez with that big flying knee. And then, seeing as the ref hadn’t fully dragged him away from Hernandez on the canvas, punch him as many times as possible to make sure he’s not getting back up” said one UFC fan, furious that anyone would suggest his favourite sport could use a little more regulation.

“These people saying that Willson shouldn’t have nailed him the extra few times; look, he’s just coursing with the thrill of the fight, he’s working on pure instinct, you know? And his instinct is to just keep hitting the man in the head, and why not? He’s not going to get sacked over it. Did you hear that crowd go wild when he sank those last few extra punches? Did you not see the top of Hernadez’s head bouncing off the canvas go viral? Do you think the UFC care about ‘sportsmanship’ when they’re getting numbers like they’re getting? Fuck away off”.

Hernandez himself has yet to comment on the incident, or indeed anything, due to an acute case of being unconscious.

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