All The Epstein Death Conspiracy Theories In One Handy Place

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THE SAD and untimely death of billionaire paedophile and friend to the rich, influential and famous Jeffrey Epstein has sparked a flurry of speculation online.

However, some internet users have found it hard to fine a responsible news outlet which it trusts to host all those conspiracy theories in one handy place. That is, until now!

WWN has of course been working around the clock to avoid fanning the flames and misrepresenting information just to give people with nothing better to do a chance to rant endlessly on Facebook much to the shame of their relatives.

Dive in and dine on the nourishing conspiracies theories which like all conspiracy theories have all been extensively fact checked before being circulated online:

The Royal Family did it

A close friend to Prince Andrew, the Queen couldn’t risk any sort of potential fall out from a trial. We all know that. And if the letter A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 and so on, the letters in Epstein total 68 which is the same age as Princess Anne, Andrew’s sister and the longstanding chief assassin for the Royal Family. The dots are there folks, we just connect them.

Who decided that the alphabet goes in that particular order anyway? We’re only scratching the surface folks.

He was alive and now is dead

We think there’s something to this theory, we can’t wait to hear what more new information reveals.

Faced with spending the rest of his life in prison and outed to the world as a vile paedophile, took his own life

As far-fetched nonsense goes this takes the cake. C’mon, do we look like we were born yesterday?

The Clintons killed him because he knew their deepest, darkest secrets.

Well this is patently absurd as we all know, if Bill wanted to keep secret the fact he actually can’t saxophone, he’d never leave the sorts of hints that could fuel a conspiracy theory.

Trump did it.

Depending on your political leanings this is either an open and shut case as Trump is guilty as sin and it should be looked into or you’re wearing a MAGA hat right now. Open. Your. Eyes.

Trump AND the Clintons did it

Ooh, juicy. Now you’re talking.

Epstein was a CIA informer, a Mossad agent, a member of Hezbollah, a Saudi ally, a Russian spy and behind Hong Kong’s pro-democracy protests

He was a busy man. He wasn’t just playing both sides as a double agent, he was an octuple agent playing every side of this espionage octagon.

He had a history of leaving one-star ratings on IMBD for beloved movies

Really? He gave The Dark Knight a one-star review and expected no push back? Little Miss Sunshine too? The guy was a monster.

The people speculating about his death do not care about the pain and suffering Epstein brought to his victims

Hmmm, this one seems unlikely, typically most people we’ve encountered who spread Zionist and Illuminati conspiracies on the internet are pretty nice, empathic people.

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