Locals Didn’t Have Áine Down As The Dogging Type Now A’tall A’tall


ONE LOCAL Waterford community is questioning everything it felt it knew about the Kelley’s youngest Áine after it emerged she’s really into the adventurous sexual practice of dogging.

Lismore locals have confessed to not having Áine (27), normally judged to be a fierce quiet individual who wouldn’t say boo to a ghost, down as the getting off on riding strangers in a 2006 Ford Focus in a dimly lit car park type of person a’tall a’tall.

“You wouldn’t know it to look at her,” confirmed local gossip merchant Sally Higgins, who presumes her surface level presumptions about everyone to be ironclad facts.

“Just goes to show, you never know what’s going on in someone’s life boi,” remarked Cormac Ward, who had Áine more down as the submissive BDSM or pegging type of individual like himself if he was being honest.

While it was presumed the dogging habit was the result of the influence of a new foreign looking boyfriend, many locals needed to sit down and collect themselves after learning Áine doesn’t even have a boyfriend.

“Far from me to judge anyone, whatever wets your whistle, floods your flute, saturates your saxophone, mists your maracas, drenches your drums, and so on,” concluded gossip Higgins, who first started the unfounded rumour about Áine after seeing her standing and briefly talking to an unidentified man who was seated in a car with a Dublin reg.