“Keep Me Out Of This”: Spirit Of The Blitz Breaks Silence


“I KEEP seeing my name trending on Twitter and I’m like Christ, what are they saying about me now?” mused a worn-out Spirit Of the Blitz, speaking to WWN from her Devon cottage she shares with her husband, the Spirit Of Dark And Lonely Water.

“Since Brexit, I’ve been cited as a pro-Leave, pro-Austerity, pro-fucking-everything spokesperson. Honestly, I really wish they’d keep me out of it. I really do”.

The Spirit Of the Blitz, the shapeless phantom that watched over Britain during the Nazi air-raids of WWII, kept silent for decades as politicians/general nutjobs cited her as a reason to persevere through less than ideal conditions, most recently in the wake of Britain voting to leave the EU.

With a no-deal exit fast approaching and economic turmoil set to wreak havoc, pro-Brexit pundits have been advising Britons to ‘remember The Spirit Of The Blitz’… something she’s not overly happy about.

“Let me get this straight; your solution to a crisis is to invoke the memory of an even worse crisis, and just keep truckin’ along? 2 million homes were destroyed back then, thousands killed,” seethed the Spirit Of the Blitz, or Splitz as she likes to be called.

“Like… okay. I get it. I didn’t say much the last 60 years, so a lot of people thought they could just name-drop me during poll tax riots, miners strikes and then Brexit or whatever, without me correcting them. Alright. Here it is, loud and clear. Fuck you all. Keep my fucking name out of your mouths. Brexit all you want, but don’t put me out there as your poster girl. Not having it, fam”.

The Spirit Of Dunkirk was unavailable for comment.