Doctor Prescribes ‘Mr.Brightside’ On Repeat For Man Cheated On By Girlfriend
A WATERFORD based GP has been on the receiving end of enthusiastic praise after his clinical diagnosis and intervention is set to earn one patient a quick recovery from devastating heartbreak.
23-year-old Andy Dowdall had been left bereft and lovesick following being cheated on by his former girlfriend who shall remain nameless but is known locally by Dowdall’s mother as ‘that slut’.
“Here, horse this into ya pal. Trust me, I’m a doctor,” explained Dr. Gavin Ganning, before sticking indie rock supremos The Killers’ hit ‘Mr. Brightside’ with its tales of jealousy and betrayal on full blast.
Dowdall quickly burst into tears before standing to his feet and singing along passionately to every word, singling out the words ‘but she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now let me go’ for that overly loud shout-singing style.
“There’s a good fella, you’ll be alright,” added Dr. Ganning, who gave Dowdall a cert for 3 days off from work to mope around doing nothing but playing the Playstation and masturbating as well as a prescription for 16 more listens of Mr. Brightside, to be taken on nights out with the lads on the dance floor after a few pints.
“Now you might be tempted to tell the DJ to play the song a second time, but you shouldn’t be taking more than one listen of Brightside a night, okay?” warned Dr. Ganning, who says he’s helped countless patients with the hit song.