Gangs Urged To Feud Only On Days Gardaí Are Allowed Overtime

FEUDING CRIME gangs in Dublin City, West Dublin, South Dublin, North Dublin, Drogheda and pretty much everywhere else have been asked politely to save all their violent episodes for times when Gardaí are not affected by the squeeze on their overtime hours.

“Our overtime is capped now, so as much as we’d love to run into the scene of a shooting with just a baton, chances are there won’t be enough of us on duty. If the gangs could be sound about it and only start shooting each other when we’re at our full complement, that’d be great,” shared one garda we spoke with.

With gangland feuding becoming the big crime trend of 2019, the Department of Justice has perfectly timed introducing a cap on overtime for officers, meaning some stations are manned by one trainee officer at a time.

“Some fucking eejits them government lads,” remarked one of the feuding criminals, who, despite being a criminal, makes a fair point.

With news that 25 extra gardaí have been drafted into Drogheda to deal with the escalating violence, criminals and gardaí alike have been left wondering what other region of the country has now been left with a skeleton staff of police for lucky criminals to exploit.

“Maybe we can exchange numbers with some of the gangland players, draw up a calendar, y’know, show them the times we actually have officers on the streets and then if they want to shoot at each other or terrorise a community they’ll know to do it when there’s at least 3 gardaí on duty, it’s only fair,” added the garda.