Kim Jong-Un Suspiciously Quiet These Days


IN RECENT days, leading observers of international politics have slowly come to the realisation that “shit, wait, it’s probably not a good thing Kim Jong Un hasn’t been in the news the last few weeks and months”, raising suspicions around the world as a result.

Jong Un, head of the hermit state North Korea, has chiefly been in the news this year for the apparent thawing out of icy relations with the US and South Korea however, experts have pointed out that next to no news emanating into the international news cycle from North Korea is probably not a good thing.

“If things are this quiet, he’s probably doing some awful stuff to the citizens he rules over and leaders will have to shrug their shoulders and concede murder, famine and labour camps are better than nuclear armament,” confirmed one expert who also couldn’t rule out the leader was just busy eating.

Making a gap in the blinds and peering suspiciously out its window in the general direction of North Korea, the world began to get a sinking feeling in its stomach as it contemplated the suffering of the ordinary people in North Korea.

“I preferred it when Kim was just appearing in funny memes on social media, the idea that he’s overseeing a murderous and oppressive regime is a bit of a downer,” confirmed one news fan.

UPDATE: It has been reported Jong Un may visit South Korea later this month, providing social media fans with a new array of funny gifs and images.