Goodie Two Shoes Kid Wants Donations To Charity Instead Of Presents


SOURCES close to the Waterford community of Tramore have revealed that a local goodie two shoes kid doesn’t want any presents this Christmas, preferring instead for the money normally spent on presents to go charity.

Little Ellen Melligan (7) made the request to her parents over dinner earlier this week after being deeply affected by a number of news reports concerning a famine in Yemen and abject poverty in Ireland, a request which has been met with some resistance privately by her parents.

“The goodie two shoes is going to make us look like feckin’ stingy parents. Fuck that, she needs to grow up and get properly selfish like the rest of us, she’s making a holy show of us with this ‘give it to charity’ bollocks,” Ellen’s mother Joanne explained, before admitting to being momentarily proud of her daughter before realising how it could make herself and husband look.

The disgust at the charitable views held by the first class pupil extends out to Melligan’s aunts and uncles who confirm such requests would derail the inter-family kris kindle arrangements.

“We all get one niece or nephew to buy for, if we donate to charity for Ellen we’ll never hear the end of it from Joanne and Martin about how we didn’t get her a ‘proper present’. The little wagon would want to wise up,” confirmed Ellen’s uncle and godfather Gavin Drilley.

The Christmas present request agenda pursued by Ellen could also have a knock on effect in the local community with her parent’s fearful neighbours will see the gesture as an attempt by the family to act ‘better’ than everyone else.

“And sure didn’t we order some My Little Pony shite online already, the fuckin’ stress she’s causing us, the spoiled brat,” concluded father Martin.