Local Girl Calling It ‘Fall’ For Some Fucking Reason

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WWN has been informed that a local girl has been referring to the period from mid-September to early November as ‘the Fall’, a direct contravention of the Irish rules of not having notions about yourself.

Cassie Whelan, who was already walking a fine line for having a first name that sounds like a character from Saved By The Bell, was spotted on social media several times talking about how much she ‘loves the fall’, despite appeals from friends to just called it fucking Autumn.

In a worrying development, many of Whelan’s followers have also started to refer to Autumn as ‘Fall’, sparking fears that this may be just another step on Ireland’s journey into becoming America.

“When debs started becoming proms, Autumn becoming Fall was sure to be close behind,” said language expert Dr. Michael Drowdall, speaking exclusively to WWN.

“It was inevitable. We’ve seen the Americanisation of the Irish autumn over the past 20 years; kids started trick or treating, instead of just staying home drowning in buckets, pumpkin spice lattes became ‘a thing’, instead of just drinking a pot of tea for two by yourself… and lo, now we have ‘Fall’. Cassie Whelan may just be one girl referring to it as such, but mark my words, she won’t be the last”.

Meanwhile, local youths setting off what they refer to as ‘firecrackers’ have been told to just call them bangers like everyone else.

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