Your Emotionally Repressed Boyfriend Reviews ‘A Star Is Born’


THE Bradley Cooper helmed, Lady Gaga-starring smash hit A Star Is Born continues to set the box office alight as audiences gravitate toward and respond to the tale of love, anguish, torment and unbridled musical talent.

WWN Movies has turned to your emotionally repressed boyfriend, who took some serious persuading to actually go and see the film, for a decisive review that could be make or break for A Star Is Born’s chances at Oscar glory:

“It was alright like,” your boyfriend confirmed shrugging his shoulders in an uncomfortable expression of indifference.

“Like, I guess, it’s like, romantic or sad or whatever. Like, it’d probably connect with someone who could see themselves in that hopelessness, that inarticulation that we house in our hearts, the long suppressed emotions that visit us like ghosts from the past or like whatever,” your emotionally stunted boyfriend added, as he avoided making eye contact by looking at the ceiling and pulling nervously on the sleeve of his shirt.

“Emotional trauma, isn’t it? Finding that connection with someone that words can’t hope to explain, for all those words in a dictionary, that heaviness in the heart is still a blank page, and trying to bury all your sadness in the bottom of a bottle or some stupid shit like that. Ah fuck,” added your boyfriend fighting back tears.

“That fucking ending man,” confirmed your boyfriend, letting it all out now.

“Fucking hate stupid fucking romantic movies, they’re all shit and stupid and melodramatic and ‘I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in’,” your boyfriend said, as he broke into tearful song, vowing never to be tricked into going to a ‘woman’ movie again.

“So if you’re asking my opinion and that, it was shite. It’s no Fast and the Furious,” he concluded.