A CRACK TEAM of the finest text composers one Waterford woman could assemble have descended upon her Dublin city apartment in a bid to help compose a breezy and non-committal text to a guy she is currently seeing.
Responding to the panicked requests of Waterford born Emily Castle (25), Ciara, Rosie and Paula arrived at a bar in an effort to coin the perfect text that could convey the sort of relaxed and chilled out vibe that only a heavily focus-grouped text composed by 4 adult women can bring.
“I need the text to say ‘I need you’ without saying ‘I need you’ but also like, ‘I’ll be fine without you’ without being heavy on the ‘I’ll be fine without you vibes’,” Castle explained to her friends while unfurling pages and pages of notes.
Cormac Kiloon, the source of the text which proposes going out for drinks on Tuesday, a school night, is believed to be unaware as to why it took Castle 4 hours to respond.
“This is 6th date territory, you don’t fuck about with texts at this crucial stage,” remarked Rosie, a veteran of chilled out banter that doesn’t give off a desperate vibe.
Deliberating the exact cadence and grammar of the response for several hours, Castle’s most trusted text-composer Paula, made a pitch for a simple ‘Ok’ response.
“Not ‘okay’ too casual. Not ‘OK’, what are you screaming ‘I have issues’? Just ‘Ok’, you’re basically saying ‘yes, I agree to drinks’. It’s understated, but it’s just right,” Paula offered before the 4 women crowded around the send button for several minutes before plucking up the courage to press send.
Experts estimate it will be several days before Kiloon texts back, on the advice on his one close female friend, Siobhan.
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