“We’re Going To Keep Going Until We Get A Good One”


HEARTBROKEN new parents William and Kate Royal have pledged to ‘keep at it’ until they get a child that they’re happy with, after the disappointing birth of yet another button-cute baby yesterday.

The as-yet-unnamed Royal baby joins the so-so Prince George and the over-hyped Princess Charlotte, both of whom were described by the Royals as “okay, we suppose”.

Arriving at the hospital to collect their new brother with their dad yesterday, George and Charlotte couldn’t help but sense the tone of ‘not another crappy baby’ that their parents were giving off, which was confirmed when William addressed the waiting press and described his eagerness to ‘crack on’ with another.

“I’m going to get right back at it as soon as the stitches are out,” confirmed William, as his dose kids just stood there bumming everyone out.

“Honestly, we’re not even sure what we’re looking for, but we’ll know it when we see it. The new kid is… alright, I suppose, but when you put him with the other two, they just look dreadful. If you looked up ‘dreadful babies’ in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of these three assholes”.

Although their father’s intense scrutiny seemed harsh to many, it was widely accepted as being ‘nothing compared to what the press has in store for them’ over the rest of their lives.