Shave If You Want It Licked, Women Told


FOLLOWING a secret worldwide meeting on Sunday evening in Switzerland involving the planet’s heterosexual male population, women are now being advised to shave if they want it licked down there, WWN can confirm.

Flanked by dozens of sheepish looking men, chairman for men Daniel Fetherson timidly addressed the world’s media in an attempt to not start any future arguments, but to point out an age old problem that men have been too afraid to point out to the opposite sex since the last time they pointed it out.

“We don’t want any trouble here,” a nervous Fetherson began, now with several male peers patting him on the back for support, “we just want to be heard on this issue and mean zero offence to the world’s women, but if you really want us to go down there, you need to meet us halfway and shave… there, we’ve said it,” Fetherson added, now being applauded by his emotional peers, nodding their heads in agreement.

“For a long time now we’ve ploughed through it, without complaint, you know us men we’re very undemanding, but there’s only so many hairs a man can hock up from the back of his throat before it becomes a chore,” he said, now gaining confidence, “we really hope you don’t get offended by this request, as it’s just some general feedback… and feedback is important in a relationship, we men always respond well to feedback, so take this how you will, but please don’t give out or hold it hostage from us as punishment”.

In response to the world’s men, a spokeswoman for the World Organisation for Women (WOW) has welcomed the feedback in a public statement, and has responded with some requests of their own.

“Cheers for the feedback, we’ll take the information on board. We would like to say you’re perfect, no need for you to shave or anything like that, but we also advise that anyone with the intention of going ‘down there’ should only attempt to do so if they have the first fucking clue as to what they’re doing.”