Asshole Boss Confirms Office Will Be Staying Open This Week


A DUBLIN based boss in a busy city centre office has dashed the hopes of employees looking forward to possible days off this week by confirming that no matter what, Hinley Hanley Manly & Shanley Consultants would remain open.

Regardless of snowfall levels, employees at the company will be expected to traverse across treacherous landscapes dotted with lethal snow hazards with no excuse good enough to justify being even a minute late.

“Snow or no snow, what do you think pays your wages? I can close alright but I’ll be posting off some P45s then. When there’s money to made we’ll be staying open,” confirmed boss and asshole Martin Kindruff to staff as they let out large sighs of disappointment.

Kindruff confirmed that the business, which paid out 6-figure dividends to every partner in the business last year would be catastrophically bankrupted if it closed its offices for a few hours like other similar businesses.

With Storm Emma fast approaching it is believed the government could recommend that businesses in certain areas close their premises for safety reasons, something Kindruff flat out ignored when it was brought up by one of his staff.

“Yeah that’s just shite talk. It’s only snow,” confirmed Kindruff, who will likely have the luxury of working from home, a privilege he has confirmed will not extend to other employees.

Further pleading from employees who will need to look after their children in the event of schools closing also fell on deaf ears.

“Sure I’ve two kids and I never see them and they’re grand, stop acting like this storm is less important than the business making money. Wait, no, I have three kids.. I think,” confirmed the asshole.