Binge Watching Your Girlfriend, A Guide


NOW more and more of us are taking to binging things such as food, alcohol, Netflix and more alcohol, the question has been posed; is there anything you can’t binge?

The answer: of course not. Once you love something enough or are obsessed by something enough, the brain activates the binging cortex in your brain allowing you to harness near endless energy, which helps you effectively binge for hours on end.

There has been a steady increase in people binging their loved ones, and WWN is here to guide you through the process if you are at all unfamiliar with it. Read on to find out all about how to binge watch your girlfriend:

1) Stare lovingly at her

Marvel at her wondrous visage, while simultaneously in your head name all the children you will have together. But not in a creepy way.

2) Enter into your 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th hour of staring at her

Even though you loudly proclaimed ‘okay, just one more before bed’, just continue staring intensely at her like she was the last few episodes of the final season of Breaking Bad.

3) Brief break for snacks, the toilet

It’d be madness to suggest you can sustain binge watching without a modest break. Go to the toilet. Hit the fridge up on the way back, search for that tube of Pringles you swore you saw somewhere in the kitchen and then back to binging yo girl.

4) Rate her a 10 out of 10 on IMDB

You’ve loved every thrilling turn in this engrossing saga right from when a few hours ago she tripped getting up from the couch, all the way to the white knuckle ride of her pronouncing the word pacific as ‘specific’ and the subsequent hilarity of her tongue becoming twisted trying to rectify her error. What laughs, what tears. She deserves the top IMDB rating.

5) Recommend to friends, coworkers

Binge watching your girlfriend isn’t just about the act of watching, you’ve gotta talk endlessly about her while you’re not watching her. Try saying ‘oh my God, you’ll LOVE her’ and ‘no, I’m telling you the first few conversations are a bit hit and miss, but wait til you get to her impression of a drunken sloth, that’s when you’ll get hooked on her’.