Local Father Makes Half-hearted Offer Of Helping With Xmas Dinner


FOR THE 35th year in a row, a couch based Waterford father has made a half-hearted offer of helping with the Christmas dinner this year, despite having no intention of following through on his words, WWN can confirm.

Richard Follan, 63, will continue to drops hints in the coming days that if needed by his wife, Carmel, he will drop everything in a bid to help with preparations for the Christmas, the sort of gestures only made by the greatest husbands ever to grace the earth.

“She knows I’d drop everything if she needed me,” Follan said, however, sources close to Follan’s lazy arse have told WWN that he has never once dropped ‘everything’.

Further questions revealed that ‘everything’ in Follan’s case meant tearing into a box of Cadbury Roses and snoring on the couch.

Follan, an expert in mediocre, disingenuous offers of help, has modified the way in which he has offered help over the years with the latest iteration involving a clever use of self-deprecation.

“Help? Stop, sure this woman is responsible for the best Christmas grub in Ireland and you think an eejit like me can help her? I’d only get in the way, but if she needs me, she knows where to find me,” Follan said, practicing this year’s offer in the mirror ahead of Christmas day.