Marilyn Manson Enters ‘Is He Still Alive?’ Phase Of Career


FORMERLY shocking shock-rocker Marilyn Manson has appeared in newsfeeds around the world promoting his upcoming album, prompting the phrases ‘oh yeah, Marilyn Manson’ and ‘I thought Marilyn Manson was dead’ to trend on Twitter.

48-year-old Manson releases his eighth studio album in October, and has spent the last week on a an extensive press tour where he made sure to remind everyone how crazy and off the wall he is, and how his persona is his life and is in no way “put on” to help sell records.

Although the majority of people who remember Manson in his heyday twenty years ago have now grown accustomed to his schtick and find his attempts at ‘being shocking’ to be cheesy and somewhat quaint, Manson has stated that he is still totally a satanist™ and totally completely unhinged™.

“Marilyn has crossed over from the ‘culturally relevant’ stage of his career into the ‘oh yeah, I sort of remember him’ phase” said one music journalist, who watched Manson play with a spider while he was being interviewed.

“It happens with all the big acts when they get older. The majority of people who liked Manson in the nineties are married with kids these days, paying mortgages, driving 7-seaters full of kids. Young people are like, ‘who the fuck is this guy?’. So that’s where Marilyn will be for the next 20 or 30 years, until he enters the ‘actually dead’ phase of his career”.

UPDATE: Manson has responded to this article with a purposefully cryptic stream of nonsense.