“I Will Never Love You” Cat Meows In Direction Of Owner


TRYING desperately to precisely articulate the level of disdain he has for his owner, one Waterford based cat has meowed “I will never love you” multiple times in the direction of Angela Bollins, WWN can reveal.

Staring intensely at his owner, Felix, a complete bastard of a cat, has communicated the devastating information through several meows as Bollins watches an episode of Hollyoaks.

“I will never love you, and you trying to get emotionally close to me only make me hate you more,” Felxi added, referencing the time Bollins stroked his fur the other day and fed him, in much the same way she has for the last 7 years.

“Bitch,” he meowed again, before walking out of the sitting room and into the kitchen, where he went on to knock over a plant just for the fun of it.

While the understanding around what cats are trying to communicate when they meow is still very much in its infancy, leading experts pointed out Felix is in the majority of cats with his utter hatred of those who love him most.

“Yeah, we just go ahead and presume that 90% of the time the little shits are plotting to kill us, and 100% of the time we’re not wrong,” explained cat communication researcher Donal Ferriter.

Speaking exclusively to WWN Felix the cat expressed his own surprise at how the message isn’t getting through to Bollins.

“The crueller I act the quicker she comes back for more, humans are fucked up masochists. I think she gets off on how much I dislike her”.