Nation Compares Drinking Before Driving To Being As Stupid As Danny Healy-Rae


THE NATION has compared the dangers of drinking before driving to being on par with being as stupid as Kerry TD Danny Healy-Rae.

“It’s incredibly dangerous, and just like drink driving, it should be a crime to be that stupid” confirmed the Nation, using Healy-Rae’s demonstrable idiocy as a handy comparison in order for the gravity of drink-driving to really hit home.

The collective utterance from the Irish public came as a response to testimony the TD gave during a sitting of the Oireachtas Transport Committee, during which he suggested eating before driving was dangerous and could cause accidents, before going on to decry the lack of coverage that is given to its dangers.

This is just the 100th time in recent months Healy-Rae has hit the headlines with help from the media for not talking about serious issues which actually affect rural areas throughout Ireland.

“We’d like the government to pursue new laws in relation to Healy-Raes,” confirmed the electorate before adding, “we desperately need to institute a zero tolerance ban on Healy Raes think-talking. It is a seriously dangerous pursuit, and they clearly become impaired and intoxicated once they combine thinking and talking”.

Such is the sway Healy-Rae holds in certain parts of Kerry, many of the locals have vowed never to eat again in case they were to risk plowing their car into a wall.

“It’s a shock when you hear something like this. The Dublin elite keeping this secret from us, I’m shook. I’ve had 9 Guinness just to steady the nerves before hitting the road again,” confirmed one Kerry man we spoke to as he drive 80kph around a tight bend.