Plea To Double Licence Fee Voted Funniest Comedy RTÉ Has Ever Produced


IRISH audiences today wiped the tears of laughter from their eyes for long enough to declare that the new director general of RTÉ’s statement that the licence fee should be doubled was without doubt ‘the funniest thing ever produced’ by the national broadcaster.

Speaking on Radio One’s Today With €290,000-a-year Sean O’Rourke, €250,000-a-year DG Dee Forbes stated that the €160 a year licence fee paid by households was ‘incredible value for money’, prompting howls of laughter from listeners.

The mirth continued as Forbes described the quality of programming on RTÉ would improve if the licence fee were to increase, adding that the paltry €490,000 paid to Ryan Tubridy and €500,000 paid to Ray D’Arcy was directly responsible for the cringe-inducing nature of their work on their flagship weekend talk shows.

As staff at RTÉ nervously awaited news surrounding 250 rumoured job cuts, the Nation doubled over in stitches as Forbes stated with a straight face that license evasion has a direct effect on the quality of programming RTÉ produces.

“And they say RTÉ can’t produce comedy… this is fucking gold,” cried one listener, creasing with the giggles as Forbes continued.

“They spend 330 grand to send Nicky Byrne over to get booted out of the Eurovision in the first round, and then tell us we need to pay twice what we’re paying now to keep the quality up… I’m fuckin’ screaming here, so I am. I’ve watched every comedy programme RTÉ has produced in the last 10 years, but I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve laughed at anything they’ve broadcast”.

RTÉ have reacted to the enthusiastic response to Forbes by commissioning a new sitcom about her, starring some executive’s cousin, one of Gerry Ryan’s kids, 8 people from D4 pretending to be from all across the country, Marty Morrissey, and whoever is hanging around the RTÉ canteen during filming.