Upcoming Rickshaw Strike To Affect Dozens Of Drunks

A PROPOSED two-day strike by drivers of urban rickshaws across the country is set to cause travel chaos for dozens of inebriated revellers, who will now have to look for an alternative way to get from one pub to another while yelling at pedestrians to ‘get the fuck out of the way, we’re in a bike thing’.

Pedal-operated rickshaws have become one of the main modes of transport for people on a night out in major towns and cities, usually among people who are initially unaware that they have to pay to use them.

However, recent disputes about pay and conditions has forced rickshaw operators, the majority of which are swarthy Brazilian men, to initiate industrial action in a bid to see their wages and cycling-on-the-footpath privileges increased.

The first of these planned stoppages will take place on Friday and Saturday of this week, causing considerable disruption to the session plans of at least 14 or 15 people.

“I was going to get shitfaced, be kicked out of the pub I was in, then get a rickshaw from the bottom of Grafton Street to the top of Grafton Street while yelling on my mobile phone to the lads telling them I was on my way,” said one dose we talked to.

“What am I going to do now? Walk? Who will I get into a row with over the cost of a rickshaw journey then? Where will I take a selfie to post on Snapchat with the caption ‘in one of them fuckin’ bike things’? This is unacceptable”.

The strike is also expected to adversely affect a number of hen parties from Newcastle and one lad who’s trying to impress a girl on their first night out.