Get Ripped With The New “Body Disposal” Workout

LOOKING to sculpt a set of abs that will make you stand out in the crowd? Need to strengthen your core while getting shredded? Or just want to lose a few pounds after a couple of months in Caketown? Whatever your fitness goals, you can achieve them using the killer new “Body Disposal” craze sweeping the Nation right now! Here’s a few of the basic exercises to get you started!

The carpet roll

Blitz your back, crunch your quads and burn those calories with the carpet roll; the great exercise you can do in your own home! Lay the nearest corpse you can find on any rug, get low to the ground, and roll that sucker up for an amazing all-body workout!

The canal toss

This is one for all you upper torso freaks; get huge by launching bagged-up body parts into the nearest canal. Not your first day at Body Disposal? Increase the intensity of this exercise by adding rocks to the bags, adding to the amount of effort needed to throw them into the water. Remember – maximum effort, maximum rewards!

The grave digger

Get sweating with the grave dig. Available in shallow (for beginners) and deep (for those who know that big bodies need a big hole). This is a tough one, so carb up beforehand!

The mountain drag

You’ve got a body. You’ve got a mountain. You see where we’re going with this. Get ready to have your hamstrings murdered!

And remember: stretch. You’ll thank us in the morning.