David Icke Comes Out As Shapeshifting Lizard Person


BRITISH writer and public speaker David Icke has controversially revealed himself to be a ‘shapeshifting lizard person’, sending fans of the former footballer into meltdown across the world.

Icke, best known for his views on what he calls “who and what is really controlling the world”, broke the news to a packed audience today attending his worldwide wake up tour in the Isle of Wight, during an 8-hour seminar.

“I have something very important to tell you all,” the son of two said addressing the crowd, before morphing into a rather large, black-eyed lizard figure. “I am, and have been for some time, a shapeshifting lizard person. They have compromised me. It’s too late. Everyone needs to get the hell out of here, right now”.

Following his warning, hundreds of people immediately got up and left the Newport venue, many screaming in disbelief at the creature, who then began chasing several audience members.

“He kept telling us to run for our lives, saying he had no control over himself anymore,” one eyewitness recalled. “There were people panicking, stepping on other people to get to exit doors. David, or whatever it was, kept shouting at people to hide any children from him as he couldn’t guarantee their safety”.

Isle of Wight police later arrived at the scene to find a naked Mr. Icke in a fetal position on the venue stage, weeping uncontrollably and warning officers to stay away if they didn’t want to be eaten.

It is understood that the 64-year-old was later admitted to a local psychiatric unit for observation, where he can be held there for up to 6 weeks.