UKIP Announce Faisal Umar Khan As New Leader


UKIP has wasted no time in announcing a successor to outgoing leader Nigel Farage, with relative unknown Faisal Umar Khan being handed the task of continuing to help the party to grow amongst disenfranchised voters.

Khan, whose parents emigrated to the UK from Pakistan in 1964, was presented in front of cameras shortly after Farage’s announcement that he would be stepping down.

“While Nigel achieved so much with UKIP, culminating in a successful Leave vote campaign, we do feel that now he’s stepped aside, we need to take the party in a new, entirely different direction,” UKIP party chairman Steven Crowther shared with WWN.

“Our selection process for Nigel’s successor has been second to none, and in Faisal we have a qualified doctor, who went on to start several successful businesses while somehow finding the time to study for a masters in politics. He’s an impressive individual, the like of which you rarely see in England,” Crowther said, visibly excited by the 46-year-old Muslim’s appointment.

Khan, an MP for Dudley, has edged out more prominent candidates for the leadership owing to his strong business ties to Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries, which will prove invaluable as Britain comes to terms with its future outside of the EU.

“What attracted me to UKIP was their offer to allow me change their direction slightly, and I am only too happy to see they have agreed to my request of weekly meetings in my local mosque, and starting next year, as an act of solidarity a number of my new colleagues have said they will partake in Ramadan,” Khan shared.

The businessman is also expected to aggressively pursue the fastest growing voting block in England, the British-Asian community.

“If we have cynically changed our policies to gain more votes from those communities, that is something we’ll have to look into,” Khan said in one exchange, responding to a question of whether UKIP MPs should learn how to speak Urdu, Arabic or even Romanian.