Denis O’Brien Secures Contract For ‘Bin Meters’


A COMPANY owned by multi-billionaire Denis O’Brien has today secured a €345mn contract to fit every bin in the country with a weight meter, creating 4,000 jobs for redundant Irish Water meter installers.

Hindsightserve, which was acquired by the Cork man for €42 last year in a sale you have no right to know about, was awarded the contract for the bin meters despite never applying for the contract in the first place.

“Sorry, muscle memory kicked in,” confirmed Taoiseach Enda Kenny when he explained the decision to award the State contract to the company, “just so used to doing this sort of stuff at this stage”.

The decision has received criticism among some waste management firms.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” said Ger Bolger, director of Waste Masters refuse company. “We’re a private firm, there is no State contract for this sort of thing anyway. What the government is up to, I haven’t a clue”.

The Fine Gael led government apologised for their mistake, but insisted it is committed to at least another 200 mistakes before the end of the week.

BREAKING: WWN has learned that Hindsightserve has been sold for €800 million in the last few minutes, and was never involved in the tendering process for the bin meters at any point in time.