“Cork Is Fuckin’ Class So Shut Your Face” Cork Tells Rest Of The Country For No Reason In Particular

CORKONIANS, unprompted by any incident or news, have informed the rest of the country for the umpteenth time that Cork is “fuckin’ class so shut your face”.

The rest of the country has expressed confusion as to why it needed to be told this nugget of information or who specifically needed to shut their face, with many non-Cork people left scratching their heads.

“Eh, right, em, okay. Cheers for telling us I guess,” responded one Clare resident, who felt the proclamation was a tad on the aggressive side.

Several counties have been in touch with one another to query whether or not they had said something to anger the normally relaxed and chilled out county of Cork, but it appears everyone has been keeping themselves to themselves.

“I figured someone in Dublin had to have said something, just to rile Cork, ya know?” shared Donegal local Aaron Andrews, “but we’ve all just been leaving Cork to its own devices. Minding our own business”.

Cork later added that it’s not “suffering from an inferiority complex. Who told you that? We’ll bate whoever said that. Tell us his name? We’re not paranoid, we know someone said it like, we’re not paranoid. Who said we were paranoid?”

The rebel county is expected to issue its weekly list of famous people who are from Cork in coming hours.