Man Enters 10th Year Of Letting Himself Go
A WATERFORD man has entered a 10th year in which he doesn’t pay much heed to his health, hygiene or notions of putting in any effort.
Cormac Colgan, with an address in the Ireland area of Europe, stopped making an effort and began ‘phoning in’ life on the 20th of June 2006, and has let himself continue to slide into a state of not really being arsed about anything ever since.
“Ah, look, if we’re being honest, letting myself go is the best thing I’ve done,” Colgan shared, now visibly less fit and healthier than his 2006 vintage.
“I hadn’t realised it was 10 years, though, time really flies when you finally decide that you’ll only shower about once every month and devote a lot of time scratching your arse in public,” Colgan added.
Friends and acquaintances of Colgan’s recall a time when he shaved and made himself presentable, and fit for cohabitation with other humans.
“I’m not saying he hasn’t got the ability to let go of himself even further, I’m just acknowledging the fact he started to put the groundwork in on this whole sad adventure years ago,” remarked close friend Eoin Sheedy, who still fondly remembers when Colgan ironed his shirts.
“There was a time when he’d smell like you or me, you know Lynx Africa, but as the years have progressed, he’s developed a musk so thick and pungent you just have to marvel at the dedication it took to care so little about personal hygiene,” Sheedy added.
“He’ll be doing well to top turning up to my daughter’s Christening wearing a bin bag though,” Sheedy conceded.
It is believed Colgan has no plans to reverse the trend of dedicating less and less time to maintaining or improving himself a person.
“Ah, I’m 36 now, hardly seems worth turning things round at this point, does it?” Colgan concluded.