Cody: ‘I Will Stomp A kitten For Every Point We Concede’


KILKENNY hurling manager Brian Cody has threatened his team by promising to kill a kitten for every point they concede in today’s all-ireland final

Cody, a descendant of Fionn mac Cumhaill, warned his players of the consequences of sloppy defending in a training session last night.

One player quoted him as saying: “Its true what they say, every action does have an equal and opposite reaction. Your actions, or lack of them, will cost the life of an innocent animal. Its simple: If You let the other team score, I stomp a kitten!”.

The player, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated that Cody was in a furious mood and was not happy with the teams defence.

“He was more angry than usual. I mean, hes always angry but this time he was on fuming.

He came into the dressing room like a flaming tornado. He was carrying a bag. We could hear kitten screams emanating from it. I had a hunch that this wasn’t going to go well.

Brian was shouting on about our defence for ages and said it was ‘diabolical’.

He called one of the players a ‘fucking thick’ and then asked him to turn around so he could rub his facial hair across the small of his back. This was common practice with Brian. He once told me that he liked the noise the hair made against the soft skin and that it calmed him down.” said the player.

“After the ‘stubbling’, he then made the threat about the kittens. Everyone was horrified. He was swinging the bag around, pretending to aim it at the wall and then stopping just before hitting it. His eyes were wild and crazy-like. We were all very scared at that point.” he added.

Cody was later seen by a passer-by dumping a similar bag into a wheelie bin outside Nolan Park in Kilkenny city.

Kilkenny are hugely fancied to come out victorious in this years final against Galway.

Brian Cody is regarded as one of the greatest hurling managers of the modern game but has come into some  controversy lately regarding his unorthodox approach to discipline and his sadistic training methods.