Zoo Panda’s Finally Mate After Introduction Of Samantha Brick Mask


A pair of Chinese pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have finally mated after a Samantha Brick mask was placed on the female bears face.

Tian Tian and Yang Guang will hopefully have babies this year thanks to a card board cut out of the beautiful woman’s face, Edinburgh Zoo’s press officer told WWN today.

The successful attempt to mate followed other attempts on Tuesday and Wednesday were it seemed the male panda had no interest in the ordinary looking female.

A suggestion by Samantha Brick was made late on Wednesday night to use her face to arouse the beast.

The award winning TV producer, journalist and writer faxed a copy of her face to the zoo and told the zoo keepers to attach her image to the female panda bears head.

“We had to get Samantha to resend the image as the zoo administrator destroyed the first one after he made love to it on the fax machine.” said keeper Thomas Farrell.

The new image was then hidden in a large envelope before being pressed onto cardboard and laced.

“We had to get several elderly women to prepare the mask as we couldn’t risk another aroused person damaging it”.

“But it worked almost immediately!”

Zookeepers put the two pandas together for one last attempt on Thursday morning, but despite the low hormone levels of Tian Tian, the male panda pounded that ass for almost four hours.

“He destroyed her.”

“Samantha Brick has probably saved an endangered species.” added Farrell.

The journalist has since given medical scientists permission to experiment with her image on different animals across the world.

“Who knows, maybe we can get a horse and a Rhino to mate yet!”

“I’ve always wanted a unicorn.” joked one scientist.