THE Herald has issued a full apology to both Belgian footballer Romalu Lukaku and British rapper Stormzy, after publishing an article about Lukaku’s move to Manchester United with a photo of the grime superstar in a Man Utd top by mistake. “We at the Herald would like to apologise to both men for the mix-up”… Read more »
PEOPLE who need information about the invention of quilted toilet roll need look no further than local man Kian Hettingham, who can answer any question on the subject after watching the 76-minute Netflix documentary ‘Softer ‘N Softer: The Complete History Of Quilted TP’ last night. Hettingham, 36, has added the subject to his list of… Read more »
WWN are receiving confirmed reports of the existence of a Robert “Rob” Kardashian, apparently a brother of the Kardashian sisters, who has generated headlines about himself with the aid of stories about his ex-wife or his house burning down or something. “Rob”, who shares the family’s genetics with a tendency towards large breasts, a huge… Read more »
A LOCAL Waterford man has confessed to being ‘overjoyed’ at the prospect of getting to see yet another Spider-Man movie, which deals with Peter Parker navigating his way through his adolescence while also contending with being a crime-fighting superhero. “Now some people might say seeing that once or twice is enough, some people’s threshold only… Read more »
RUMOURS are running rife online following the cliffhanger finale to this season of Doctor Who, amid suggestions that the next person to play the Doctor might pull the show out of the scrap heap and make it more appealing to people who aren’t dorks. The current Doctor, played by Peter Capaldi, is set to hang… Read more »
MUSIC making Brit Ed Sheeran has sensationally quit social media platform Twitter after persistent trolling, WWN can exclusively reveal. The ugly, thin-skinned ginger twatbag and Shape of You singer, Sheeran, has confirmed his desire to limit his exposure to virulent insults and death threats leading some commentators to suggest the empty-headed abomination obviously can’t take… Read more »
PUTTING licence-payers money to good use yet again, RTÉ have purchased the rights to make its own version of reality dating show Love Island, which will hit our screens under the name ‘Riding Peninsula’ later this year. The ITV hit, which see’s single people paired off into couples competing for a cash prize while supposedly… Read more »
SINGER Ed Sheeran has hit back at viewers and Glastonbury revellers who voiced their disappointment at the songwriter’s performance at the Pyramid Stage, promising to shoot ‘fireworks out of my arse next time’. Sheeran, who has red hair and yes we needed to point that out, lambasted critics in a four hour tirade this afternoon…. Read more »
GREAT news for Daniel Day Lewis fans as the actor announced his retirement from acting in a bid to prepare for a role in a movie in which he plays an actor who quits the profession. Preemptively nominated for an Oscar immediately after the news broke, for what will presumably be a tour de force… Read more »
