Grim Scenes As Local Head-Melter Strikes Again

GARDAI have stated that a discovery at a Waterford house party early Sunday morning is the work of a renowned local head-melter in the area, who has seemingly reappeared on the after-hours scene after a period of being away. A special response unit was called to disperse the gathering at a home in John’s Park, with reports suggesting the call was made… Read more »

“There’s No Fucking Way I’m Missing Burning Man Again This Year” Commissioner Defends Holiday

GARDA Commissioner Nóirín O’Sullivan will miss next week’s Policing Authority meeting because she is off on her holiday’s to North America, WWN can reveal. O’Sullivan is expected to take an extended five and a half week holiday from Friday, but insisted that she will be back in time for September’s authority meeting and regrets missing a number… Read more »

Flies Just Taking The Piss At This Stage

WITH Ireland still in the throes of a full-on plague of flies, WWN has gained exclusive access to the irritating insect’s chief commander, who has admitted that they’re just having a bit of a laugh at this stage. With concerns mounting worldwide about the decline in pollinating insects such as bees, there was slight relief… Read more »

McGregor Injures Jaw Following Chewing Gum Related Incident

THERE was fresh drama in the ongoing build-up to the Conor McGregor/Floyd Mayweather face-off today after the Irish UFC star was rushed to hospital with a suspected broken jaw that sources are confirming came from a chewing-gum related incident during ‘trash-talking training’. McGregor, who has been spotted chewing huge wads of gum at high speeds during… Read more »