President Attends 5th Anniversary Of Garth Brooks Saga

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COMMEMORATIONS are underway marking the 5th anniversary of the cancelled Garth Brooks concerts at Croke Park saga which claimed the outrage of hundreds of thousands of ticket holders in 2014.

Laying a wreath at Croke Park and wiping a tear from his eye President Michael D. Higgins said they were much to learn from the mistakes of the past and learn we must.

“The events of 2014 live long in the memory and will never be forgotten,” the President said from a plinth outside Croke Park, his voice carrying across the heads of the thousands in attendance.

The discord caused by the objections to the concerts, and Brooks’s subsequent cancellation of all dates plunged Ireland into a whirlpool of invective dominated debate and violence. One riot saw Croke Park residents clash with cowboy hat wearing culchies. 14 people died.

Later medical professionals would confirm that the Irish public suffered something akin to a collective mental breakdown under the weight of the constant Garth Brooks focused news cycles.

“It is the saddest chapter in Ireland’s history. I recall an advertisement placed in the local paper after the gigs were canceled and it brings a tear to my again today, as it did when I first read it; ‘For sale: cowboy boots, never worn.’,” continued the President, drawing out loud, grief stricken wailing from the crowd.

The President will later host a reception in Phoenix Park for victims; ticket holders to the concerts and tomorrow morning he will attend the opening of the Garth Brooks Centre For Peaceful Planning Of Large Scale Concerts.

It is hoped the centre can be used in the event of any future resident/concert promoter disagreements, with many music fans already trying to book the centre in order to get Picture This at the 3 Arena cancelled and The Coronas deported to a soundproofed island off the coast of Iceland.

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