IF you’re form a small community in Ireland, you may be familiar with the cardinal sin of believing that you’re more than just some mindless, useless drone working your way through life. Nothing riles up rural Ireland more than someone who ‘steps out of their lane’, or has ideas above their station. It is forbidden in these lands.
But how can you tell if you have committed the sign of thinking you’re great? Maybe you just accomplished something that you’re really proud of, some educational achievement, or victory on the field of play, and you feel pretty good about it, but you’re not big-headed or anything like that… or are you? Here’s a few ways you can find out:
1) People don’t like you any more
Soon after you get 600 points in the leaving or you win first prize in your chosen field of expertise, you may notice that people in your small rural locality just… stop liking you. This is your first hint that you’re now a big-headed prick. Funny, you don’t remember changing your attitude in the slightest after your win, but you didn’t need to. People just don’t like you now.
2) People you don’t even know don’t like you
You may now find it harder to make new friends or chat to people. This is because pride and arrogance are hated in rural Ireland, and people will make sure to let everyone know; ‘see your man over there? He thinks he’s great’. In truth, you may believe that you’re a very modest person, but to those around you, the fact that you have achieved anything at all is in direct contradiction to this.
3) When you move town, you just know
Even if you move away from your hometown to someplace where nobody knows you, you still just know when you think you’re great. As such, make sure that this never manifests itself in any way. Don’t suggest things at work. Don’t be the first to answer. Keep your mouth shut and your head down. Your big-headedness is why nobody back home likes you.
4) You start to see other people who fucking love themselves
Such as that guy who got the promotion you wanted, he fucking loves himself a bit, doesn’t he? Always speaking up in meetings, kissing arses, being right all the time. Fuckin’ hell pal. Take a day off once in a while, you big-headed prick. Stay in your lane. Know your fucking station, dickhead.